 |
| ギゼルとケイラの体験談 |
何度か皆さんにご紹介していますが、
アメリカＳＧＩの「youtubeチャンネル」に掲載されている体験談シリーズの中で
今回は、ギゼルとケイラの親子の体験談をご紹介します。
（過去のシリーズ：Michele Jooさん/Naimaさん）
16歳で妊娠し、出産した母ギゼルと娘ケイラへのインタビューとなっています。
ちょっと長いのですが、とても素晴らしい体験談ですのでご紹介したく、頑張って訳してみました（笑）。
実はギゼルの英語がちょっと分かりにくくて（笑）、聞き取れなかった箇所がいくつかありますが、全体的に何を言っているのかわかる程度には訳していますので、細かい点はお許しください。
Gisell＆Kaila - Buddhist in America
Kaila（daugter): What was I like growing up in a buddhist family...
ケイラ（娘）：仏教徒の家族で育つってどんな感じかというと・・
Gisell : I had a really good
relationship with my parents. I followed my mother everywhere she was go like go
to bed, to bathroom everywhere I was literally she was call me her “tail”. My
father is the more quiet type but he shows his love by providing for his family.
ギゼル：両親とはとても仲がよく、母親の後ろを寝室に行くにもトイレに行くにも、どこにでもついていくので、文字通り母からは”しっぽ”と呼ばれていました。父はとても物静かなタイプで、家族を養うということで父の愛情を受けていました。
younger than me.
ギゼル：私にはスーザンという姉がいて、いつもケンカばかりしているので、母は姉妹ではなくて男兄弟のようだと言っていました。また、エリカという8歳下の妹がいます。
Gisell :My family encountered Nan-Myo-Ho-Ren-Ge-Kyo in Peru. Someone told my grandfather that if you chant will be happy, so he came home oneday and told the whole family, “From now on we're going to be chanting Nan-Myo-Ho-Ren-Ge-Kyo.”
ギゼル：私の家族が南無妙法蓮華経に出会ったのはペルーにいた時です。祖父が題目をあげれば幸せになれるよと言われたのです。彼が家に帰ってきて、家族全員に「今から私たちは南無妙法蓮華経と唱えることにする」と言ったのです。
Gisell :My mom was nine years old at the time and every time she heard my grandfather chanting and she said she was just crack up and we moved to the United States when I was about ten months old and we moved straight to Jersey and ever since I've been a Jersey girl.
ギゼル：母はその時9歳で、祖父が題目を唱えるのを聞くたびに大笑いしてたそうです。そして私が生後10ケ月の時に、家族でアメリカのニュージャージ州に移住しました。それからずっとジャージーガール（ニュージャージーの女の子）です。
Gisell :My family we used to struggle a lot financially but we really never felt the blow off it, There was always love in the house and we never you know felt that we were missing anything I think the love came everything I would say for my mother's Buddhist practice from her chanting Nan-Myo-Ho-Ren-Ge-Kyo.
ギゼル：一家は経済的に苦労をしましたが、いがみ合ったりすることは決してなく、いつも家の中には愛があり、何かが足りないと思うことはありませんでした。おそらくこの愛というのは、南無妙法蓮華経と唱える母の信心からくるものだったといえるでしょう。
Kaila:I think I would say I
was a little embarrassed being Buddhist just because it was so different and
my friends had no idea what was going on whenever they were over my house and
they would hear a bell they were just feeling got a gong in your house and I
really no no it's nothing but I think in middle schools when I started really
trying out this practice for myself I don't know if I said this, I started
chanting because of a boy
ケイラ：仏教徒だということは他の子と違うのでちょっと恥ずかしくて、友達が家に来ると何なのかよくわからないので、鐘の音が聞こえたりすると、ゴングが家にあるのかと思われたりするので、いやいや、何でもないのよって言ったり。でも中学生になってから自分でちゃんとやってみようと思って、こんなこと言っていいのかわからないけど、題目を唱えるようになったのは男の子の事でなんです。（笑）
Kaila:He liked the other girl
who was actually my friends and I would compare myself a lot to her and so I
just really chanted to be confident and try to be myself and be the best that I
can be not compare myself to other people and I think that's when I started
really becoming happy and really seeing the power of this practice.
ケイラ：彼は他の女の子のことが好きで、その女の子は私の友達でもあって、その子と自分のいろんなところを比べてしまうのです。だから自信が持てるようにって、他の人と比べるんじゃなくて、ベストの自分になれるようにって題目をあげるようにしたんです。これが本当に幸せになるもので、この信心に力があるんだということがわかるようになりました。
Gisell :When I was a kid I just wanted to be everything I wanted to be a teacher, I love fashion, I love to dance, I listen to everything my parents said. When I was in eighth grade that was a time when I met Kayla's father. He was said jump and I said how high and the type of crowd that he used to hang out with used to drink all the time and they will skip school I was skipped school I just started wanting to have fun and come home really late and night, everything just kind of fell apart from that time. I just stopped chanting and just stopped chanting as a chore. I didn't want to do a chore. I went from being a straight-a student to just barely passing.
 |
| ギゼル |
Gisell :When I was a kid I just wanted to be everything I wanted to be a teacher, I love fashion, I love to dance, I listen to everything my parents said. When I was in eighth grade that was a time when I met Kayla's father. He was said jump and I said how high and the type of crowd that he used to hang out with used to drink all the time and they will skip school I was skipped school I just started wanting to have fun and come home really late and night, everything just kind of fell apart from that time. I just stopped chanting and just stopped chanting as a chore. I didn't want to do a chore. I went from being a straight-a student to just barely passing.
ギゼル：子供の頃は、いろんなものになりたいと思っていました。先生になりたかったし、ファッションも好きだし、ダンスも好き。そして両親の言うことをよく聞く子でした。８年生（中学2年）の時に、ケイラの父親となる人と出会いました。私は彼の言うことに従い、彼はいつでも飲んだくれているような仲間と一緒にいるような人だったので、彼らが学校をさぼるなら、私もさぼり、次第に楽しいと思うことをするようになり、家に夜遅く帰ってきたり、その時から全てが崩れてきだしたのです。唱題をするのをやめたのです。唱題は面倒なもので、面倒なものはしたくなかったからです。ストレートＡ（成績優秀）の生徒からからかろうじて落第しないというような生徒になっていったんです。
Gisell :Once I got left back from freshman year I just lost hope I felt like I couldn't redeem
myself I told my mother
I wanted to drop out of school I told her no matter what you say I'm not going to
go so we had a meet with my guidance counselor at the time and he said if you
quit now in one month you'll be pregnant.
ギゼル：中学3年生の年には、ついていけずに目の前が真っ暗になり、取り戻すことなんて出来ないと感じて、母に退学したいという旨を話し、何を言われようと学校には行く気はないと伝えました。そして進路指導のカウンセラーと懇談した際に、そのカウンセラーから、今辞めたら、一カ月以内にあなたは妊娠するでしょうと言われたのです。
pregnant in one month later.
ギゼル：そんなのあり得ない、何で私がそうなるのと思ったのですが、カウンセラーの言ったことは正しかったのです。私は一か月後に妊娠しました。
Gisell :So things at home just
got rough in a sense that my parents were very very angry so I kind of just
stopped talking to them much. I didn't want my parents in in the hospital when she was
born it was one play I was like screaming out of pain of labor and as soon as they
came in like I shut up and I held it in just to let them know I'm okay and
then I told them they can leave I just didn't want them seen me going through
that. I saw already there were ashamed of me having her so I just felt like kind of
I let them down. Especially because they didn't want to tell people that I was
pregnant it just made me harder it was just um just feeling shameful, sucks I just
feel shameful
Gisell :when I first held Kaila
I was really confused though like everything just happened
so fast I don't know how I was going to be able to do it all
Gisell :the first years maybe just getting used to parenthood and not sleeping but things s
tarted getting a little rough with her father. When Kayla was 1 years old he started using drugs. At that point so first it was just be verbal abuse and then there would be physical abuse it just wasn't it wasn't good
ギゼル：最初の一年は寝れないなど、親になることに慣れていくという感じでした。しかし、次第にケイラの父親とこじれてきました。ケイラが１歳になった時、彼はドラッグを使用するようになっていったのです。その時は
Gisell :One night that it was a
Friday and it was really the first time I chanted to my own Gohonzon. I just chanted
that I wanted to transform my life and I wanted to become happy. I didn't want
to be another statistic but drop out, single mom, crazy baby daddy, I was just chanting just to have a happy family.
ギゼル：金曜日のある夜に、初めて自分の持っている御本尊に向かってお題目をあげました。題目をひたすらあげたのは、自分の人生を変えていきたいということ、そして幸せになりたいということでした。落ちこぼれのシングルマザーで、子供の父親がクレイジーである、このような人にありがちな人生を送りたくなかったのです。私はただ幸せな家庭を持ちたくてお題目を唱えていたのです。Gisell : I just want something to change SO bad I just I was desperate. But even though I was chanting for harmonious family what kind of crazy happens is he told me he was unfaithful so I got so pissed that I ended up like breaking up with him and I moved back home to my parents
ギゼル：ただ何かを本当に変えたくて、懸命だったのです。しかし、どんなに私が一家和楽を祈っても、彼が浮気をしたりというようなことが起きたので、彼とは別れる決心をし、両親の家に戻りました。
Gisell :I had take my life back
into my hands I continued my Buddhist practice and I was able
to get my GED I started having a steady job and a little bit a little bit I just
started becoming closer to my family especially to my parents
Gisell :All of my best friends are members of the Soka Gakkai there were the people
that you know no matter what I was going through I called and like always encouraged me to
not give up on myself and I feel that's really what good and true friend is.
ギゼル：親友はみな創価学会のメンバーで、私がどんなことがあっても諦めないようにいつも励ましてくれたり、これが本当の善き友なんだと思うのです。
Kaila:I think it was difficult
not having my dad around also because I did grow up with him for a little bit of my
childhood so not being able to see him like oh I don’t wanna cry..
ケイラ：父が身近にいないというは小さい時にちょっと一緒に過ごしてきたのもあるので辛いことで、会えなくなるってことを考えると・・・泣きたくはないのですが・・Kaila:I do think about him every day and I chant for him and I hope he's doing well but because I had such a big family like they never made me feel like I was alone I just I really love with my family and they're so funny too like we always crack jokes at home and everything I like I really love my family.
Gisell :Kaila is an old soul
very funny her soul has a strong character and sometimes more
mature than I am she's very grounded very
caring mature responsible young lady I
feel like we actually we kind of grew
up together like she helped me
become a good mom andat the same time I try to help her become like a good person like I feel like I have a role dog
ギゼル：ダンスをするのが大好きで、小さいころから家族が開くパーティーなどでスパニッシュ音楽でダンスをしていました。6年前にサルサのクラスを受講しようと決め、そこからずっとやっています。
Gisell :I never wanted to do
anything on my own so actually me going to
the starting salsa class and by
myself was a big step my god it just a part of
me like honestly it's a part of me I feel that anything is possible
like just because I'm a mother it doesn't
mean I can’t do everything that I love.
ギゼル：自分で何かをしたいと思ったことが無かったので、サルサのクラスを受けはじめたのは、私にとってはとても大きな一歩だったんです。サルサは本当に自分の一部のように思っています。どんなこともやれるんだって、母親だからっていって自分の好きなことができないわけではないんです。Gisell :Nan-Myo-Ho-Ren-Ge-Kyo means punch my obstacles and faith, it means, to really just to be me, to believe in me, to be myself ,to believe in myself to be true to yourself
Kaila:I know what it makes me
feel like it makes chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo makes me feel confident and in
control of my life and really allows
me to grow like as a person and every
time I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad like
I always have Gohonzon to go to.
ケイラ：南無妙法蓮華経と唱えることで、自信を持つことができたり、自分の人生をコントロールできて、人として成長させてくれるもので、いっぱいいっぱいになった時や、へこんだ時はいつでも御本尊に向かうのです。
Gisell :she's off to college next
year when I think about it
excuse me just view away from her but she chant nan-myo-ho-ren-ge-kyo, so I
know she's going to be absolutely fine
ギゼル：娘は来年カレッジに行きます。離れたところで見守るようになりますが、彼女にはこの信心（南無妙法蓮華経を唱えること）があるので、絶対に大丈夫だと思うのです。 |
| 16歳の自分に何を伝えますか？ |
(What would you say to your 16-year-old self?)
16歳の自分には何を伝えますか？
Gisell :I would say don't give up. I was saying don't be ashamed of yourself…I think that's part of what I would say for myself
(Kaila gave a little
message for you)
ケイラからメッセージがあります。
Gisell :Okayケイラからメッセージがあります。
 |
| 娘からのメッセージ |
ギゼル：わかりました。
-You ready?
ー準備はいいですか？
ー準備はいいですか？
Gisell :I ready.
ギゼル：はい。Kaila:Hi Mom, I just want to say that I never knew how much you were struggling when I was growing up with dad and everything and I just wanted to say thank you for always being strong and always being there for me and doing things like taking me out for ice cream and just trying to make me laugh and make me happy even though it was a really difficult time that we were going through. I'm really admire like how much you have change and how you're chasing your dream of becoming a salsa dancer or how you are so dedicated to pursuing your passion I really admire that a lot and I really like the relationship we have now I could be so open with you and you're always so understanding and compassionate and just thank you for being an amazing mom and you are always supporting me I just I want to make you really proud of me...
Kaila:I just I want to make you proud and I'm just very grateful, for you. thank you.
ケイラ：本当に誇りに思っていますし、感謝しています。ありがとう。
Gisell :I'm ..so fortunate if I
could ask for anything in the world I
think I have her. thank you
ギゼル：私は・・とても幸せ者です。もし何でも求められるとしたら、娘と言うでしょう。ありがとうございました。
